Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
