laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
