it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
