but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
