How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
