he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
