I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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