is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
