i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
