she was so not down for the gang bang
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
