Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
