just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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