and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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