Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
