I want to make a zoo with you.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
These tits shall not be calmed
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
