Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
