Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
