we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
