how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
