Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
