Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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