i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
