i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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