i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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