So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
