Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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