I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
