I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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