My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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