last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
