I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
