Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
