I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My bed smells like the plague
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