I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
