Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
