Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
