you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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