We're facebook friends in real life
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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