dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
