I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
