Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
