i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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