I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
