The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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