With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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