check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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