Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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