what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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