and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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