whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
