guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
