I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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